One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
