No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
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I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
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he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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