i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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