See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
