i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
