Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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