sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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