maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
