he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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