part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
