she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
