we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My ass is underappreciated
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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