if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
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what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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