Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
