She said her name was "party"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
