In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
