take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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