i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
