bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
