Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
