I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
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yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
so much tequila, so little girl.