Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
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These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
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So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.