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• (925): View more from California

  I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.

  (916): View more from California

  You're drunk. Make complete sentences.

  (925): View more from California

  It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way

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• (408): View more from California

  Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.

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• (661): View more from California

  ive cried into many a lonely burritos..

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So thats why that cop beat my ass?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Probably

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (310): View more from California

  yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies

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• (310): View more from California

  I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.

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• (707): View more from California

  One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  so much tequila, so little girl.

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