Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I like to think it a success when the cops are called

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(954): View more from Florida

God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.

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(907): View more from Alaska

everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

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(850): View more from Florida

Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??

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(360): View more from Washington

Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success

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(530): View more from California

Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer

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