apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night