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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My bottle opener just broke off in the cork

  (248): View more from Michigan

  They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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• (516): View more from New York

  The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint

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• (716): View more from New York

  i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.

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• (550): View more from

  She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?

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