I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have already put on my inside pants.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
