Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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