Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
