Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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