I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
