i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
