WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
