So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
