We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
