I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
