420 ftw
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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