I cockslap morals
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
