Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think my fart just growled at me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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