I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
