at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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