new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
