I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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