i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
