WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
