with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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