Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
