What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just cut my nipple shaving
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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