Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
