She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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