Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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