batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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