everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
