What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
