Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize