did you get engaged???
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you would pick up someone in the library
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
