Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
