I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
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I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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