I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
