my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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