Having a random hookup so left but love u
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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