man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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