Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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