New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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