The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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