Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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